Thursday, February 23, 2012

Implied Taunt.. Truth VS Evil

It's so ironic..
I didn't care..
Didn't even care whether it is a truth or it is a lie..
It has no twilight side, since it's only a dark side..
I would like to say Thank You..
Expressing my great gratitude, no matter 
it's a truth or it's a lie..
Maybe in this way,
I would have learn to be calm, 
Ignores every taunts, 
Included implied, hidden, and implicit taunts..
However, I still think that 
It's like walking beside a canyon blindfolded..

Sometime,
I   frustrate,
simply because I did something,
but i done it not well enough 
I even frustrate
just because of you..
I wonder,
I curious,
Why am I caring for so much?

My knowledge, my views are all narrow
I did have a strong feeling 
" I have no reason and no excuse to stay behind of you "
However,
the way I talk 
the way I think 
the way I compose 
the way I write
the way I walk 
the way I sleep
the way I read
I found out slowly,
that I have no match of anyone
The strong feeling gone down
I'm helpless, clueless
Leaved alone, have no competitive spirit 
What can I do?
Nothing more
I've to slap myself,
to make this " nothing more "
into a even better " nothing more " 

Yesterday's speaking test
my task was just that easy
but my brain just gone blank
things became out of order, unruled 
Yes, I couldn't finish my task A
I missed my conclusion sentence 
my use of word was immature 
my points are weak 
Yes, I think i failed.
Task B
getting better 
I feel comfort with my group members
I speak quite a lot
Maybe it's just sufficient
My language IS poor, 
fluency of speaking IS damn poor
I have no idea what happened to me
I think 
It maybe something that we always talk about
" Nervous "
It's not first time
I had this feeling 
But this time it's different 
maybe it's simply because 
Nervous in no longer a simple nervous 
it already became a pressure, by summing itself with many other things 
Depressing me everyday
Me
have no idea 
to handle this

I'm not begging for your help
But I'm begging you, 
please 
please 
don't ever ever again,
pierce my heart
I'm a human,
I'll bleed JUST LIKE YOU DO..
Taunts are something that I could handle,
But I couldn't forget...

The Rose of May
A stunning miracle 
Just getting ready 
to unleash it extremely gorgeous
Evil and Beautiful
TRUTH

Fantasy . Lockheart

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