Where is God?

Not trying to be religious,
but I just wanna ask,
Where is God?
There's no way out for me.

To be honest,

I don't really believe in God,

an existence that surpass everything in this universe,

for me,

everything in this universe including me and my actions,

are by logic,

but not something,

that I can never control nor understand,

I might sound self-centered,

but it's the truth.

However,

at some time,

especially when I'm alone,

especially when I try to create my own logic,

especially when my own action match nothing with my action,

especially when I'm thinking of you.

I wonder,

where is God?

can you please.. tell me why,

and where should I proceed.

Shivering in sorrow,

seeking for nothing,

forgot about my own voice,

my voice of joyfulness.

Even thinking of you,

hearing your voice,

makes me pain.

A great scar in my heart,

that didn't cure,

even until now.

Fantasy . Lockheart

- I'm trying to seek for a reason, but it just does not exist even in my own fantasy -