Guilty.

It's not the first time having this kind of feeling,
but this time it's much more intense than what I had before.
It's guiltiness,
strong and intense guiltiness.

I'm shouting how suffer I am,

but I forgot I'm the one that chose to came over.

I'm shouting how hard to survive,

but I forgot who goes through situations that are at least 10 times harder than I'm facing now.

I'm anxious because of no entertainment,

but I forgot who are the people that worrying me even trying their best to provide me such luxurious request of having entertainment here in the campus.

I'm guilty,

I shouldn't ask for so much.

Unconsciously,

I did,

again and again.

Why I never learn?

Why can't I just keep on track and don't ask for so much?

Stop complaining already, me.

They don't deserve to suffer much more than I do.

Don't only think about me,

please be selfish also sometimes,

think more about yourself rather than about me.

A simple message from me,

"Mommy, my money going to finish soon",

and very soon there's increase in amount of my bank account,

it's not great amount,

but enough for me to be happy, 

yet guilty.

I can imagine how tough they squeeze out that amount of money,

why can't I be more considerate and try to spend less?

Without a word,

they prepared what I desired.

Without a move,

they bought things I didn't expect.

Daddy,

Mommy,

Thank you for being so good to me.

Thank You is nothing but just a phrase,

everything you did are nicely kept inside my heart.

Maybe it's a small afford,

but I'll build up my very own small affords,

slowly and steadily,

do what I should do,

realise what I promised.

I Love You.

- Fantasy . Lockheart -

I never feel myself being privileged,

but now I think I am,

to have such awesome parents.